Lies, Damn Lies and Kalifornia
There are several lies about this state bordering the Pacific Ocean. I'm only going to get into one, and it's about the weather.
The general idea is that the weather in Kalifornia is great all the time. In reality, this isn't the case. First, only a narrow strip along the coast has 'good' weather. Most of the state is a desert. Second, that strip that has 'good' weather in reality has shitty weather most of the time. Let's look at a breakdown of the seasons:
Spring: ~March - May
This season undoubtedly has the best weather. There usually isn't much rain, and during the day, temperatures are usually in the 70s. It's sunny much of the time, although it can be quite overcast for long spells. The problem is at night the temperature plummets and since there's little humidity, you wind up freezing because of the shorts you wore during the day. Thus you have to carry shorts, a change of long pants, a fleece and a windbreaker to work with you in the morning. That's a pain in the ass.
Summer: ~June - August
Summer is the second best season. Unfortunately, it can get hot. The heat is usually in the high 80s to mid 90s, which isn't too bad because of the low humidity, but it is misery in most of the houses here because no one has A/C and none of the houses are insulated for shit. Seriously, no one insulates anything. My old apartment would be 117 during the day because of the sun and 51 at night because the temperature plummeted. My thermometer indoors would record the hi and low temps, so that's an empirical number. Again you have the problem of carrying all your junk with you to prepare for all types of weather, yet it's worse in this season because of the larger temperature differential.
Fall: ~September - November
This is very nearly the worst season. You think: "Oh, pretty leaves changing colors!" but that isn't the case since it's the hot season here. Temperatures can reach the high 90s and I have been here for over 100 days. The fog rolls in and stays in all day until the late afternoon when you get about 1 hour of sun. But you get sunburned because of the excessive UV coming through the clouds. Changing colors? Fuck no. You either get green trees that have no idea what fucking season it is anymore because the weather is so screwy or you get ones that are wilted because of lack of water.
Winter: ~December - February
After that heat of Fall, you get the horrible misery of rain which is nice for the first few days. But it never really rains. It just tries for three months. It's like an old man trying to take a piss for 30 minutes but can't get more than a dribble. And it's constant. It starts and won't let up. This past winter we had a continuous 42 days of rain. Never rains heavy enough to be a real rainstorm, just some light drizzly crap. You see the sun twice in three months. It's painfully depressing to not see the sun for three months. You get soaked everywhere you go. Mold grows like crazy. And then it gets cold at night and everything in your apartment is damp because there's nothing that hasn't been touched by the rain. Even better, people drive like even MORE shit, which you might not think is possible once you see them drive here in the summer. You trade cold and snow for three months of depressing attempted rain.
I'm not sure what the weather is like further inland here, but my experience so far has been hot and dry. Today it was 115 in the shade with a heat index of 121. It only gets down to 78 at night, so we don't have that clothing problem. It's looking a little better. It better not rain all winter, or if it does, it better not be half-assed. I want my goddamned thunderstorms that wash the pavement away, then break away to reveal clear skies in about 10 minutes.
The general idea is that the weather in Kalifornia is great all the time. In reality, this isn't the case. First, only a narrow strip along the coast has 'good' weather. Most of the state is a desert. Second, that strip that has 'good' weather in reality has shitty weather most of the time. Let's look at a breakdown of the seasons:
Spring: ~March - May
This season undoubtedly has the best weather. There usually isn't much rain, and during the day, temperatures are usually in the 70s. It's sunny much of the time, although it can be quite overcast for long spells. The problem is at night the temperature plummets and since there's little humidity, you wind up freezing because of the shorts you wore during the day. Thus you have to carry shorts, a change of long pants, a fleece and a windbreaker to work with you in the morning. That's a pain in the ass.
Summer: ~June - August
Summer is the second best season. Unfortunately, it can get hot. The heat is usually in the high 80s to mid 90s, which isn't too bad because of the low humidity, but it is misery in most of the houses here because no one has A/C and none of the houses are insulated for shit. Seriously, no one insulates anything. My old apartment would be 117 during the day because of the sun and 51 at night because the temperature plummeted. My thermometer indoors would record the hi and low temps, so that's an empirical number. Again you have the problem of carrying all your junk with you to prepare for all types of weather, yet it's worse in this season because of the larger temperature differential.
Fall: ~September - November
This is very nearly the worst season. You think: "Oh, pretty leaves changing colors!" but that isn't the case since it's the hot season here. Temperatures can reach the high 90s and I have been here for over 100 days. The fog rolls in and stays in all day until the late afternoon when you get about 1 hour of sun. But you get sunburned because of the excessive UV coming through the clouds. Changing colors? Fuck no. You either get green trees that have no idea what fucking season it is anymore because the weather is so screwy or you get ones that are wilted because of lack of water.
Winter: ~December - February
After that heat of Fall, you get the horrible misery of rain which is nice for the first few days. But it never really rains. It just tries for three months. It's like an old man trying to take a piss for 30 minutes but can't get more than a dribble. And it's constant. It starts and won't let up. This past winter we had a continuous 42 days of rain. Never rains heavy enough to be a real rainstorm, just some light drizzly crap. You see the sun twice in three months. It's painfully depressing to not see the sun for three months. You get soaked everywhere you go. Mold grows like crazy. And then it gets cold at night and everything in your apartment is damp because there's nothing that hasn't been touched by the rain. Even better, people drive like even MORE shit, which you might not think is possible once you see them drive here in the summer. You trade cold and snow for three months of depressing attempted rain.
I'm not sure what the weather is like further inland here, but my experience so far has been hot and dry. Today it was 115 in the shade with a heat index of 121. It only gets down to 78 at night, so we don't have that clothing problem. It's looking a little better. It better not rain all winter, or if it does, it better not be half-assed. I want my goddamned thunderstorms that wash the pavement away, then break away to reveal clear skies in about 10 minutes.
posted by ChemicalJesus at 7:52 PM
1 Comments:
Looks like coming back to the good ol' midwest would solve not only the useless friends problem but also the weather problem. You would've loved the storm last week that knocked the power out, the lightning was amazing and the wind was phenomenal.
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