Strange Things and Weirdos VI
On campus there is a night ride shuttle system that will take you from campus to your door within a limited service range after it gets dark. It's a fantastic service and probably has saved the university thousands of dollars in lawsuits because of the crimes against the students that would otherwise be comitted. I got on tonight at 9pm to go home. I expected to have Habib, some middle eastern or indian guy whose name I don't know and who is incredibly difficult to talk to. He's the worst driver, unfriendly, and isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer. He's also a driving instructor in his home country.
Fortunately, I got Duane, the awesome driver that used to drive Habib's route before they got switched. Duane's awesome, friendly, lives in downtown Oakland and drives like it (meaning the bus does about 105 and I get home early). He also takes me all the way to my door, which lies a little outside the service area, a nice thing considering I don't live in the best area of town. So, I get on and there's an older lady on the bus who's talking with him. He's friendly, so he asks if I know her, and I say no, and he in introduces us. She's a librarian from the bay area working at the university, and he says that I'm from St. Louis.
Ann Marie, the librarian, looks like someone who would live in North Berkeley, but I give her the benefit of the doubt considering that she is actually talking with Duane and not being a bitch. She's about 60, has poorly overdone makeup, and is wearing a tweed jacket that doesn't match her sweater or pants. She starts talking about how much she loved St. Louis when she was there, so I figured she just had no fashion sense. The conversation began normally enough.
"My friends and I went to the arch and then to St. Louis university, one of the old buildings there, and we went up to the roof and watched the thunderstorms blow in. I've never seen storms like that before, it was amazing."
"Yeah, the thunderstorms are great. I love the summer when you can see them roll in from miles away."
"Oh yes, I liked watching them roll in over the Gulf of Mexico."
"Um."
"Yes, it was great, those storms would roll in right over the ocean."
"I'm from St. Louis, Missouri, not St. Louis, Louisana." (There is a St. Louis, LA)
"Yes, that's where I was at! The storms coming in over the gulf were amazing."
"Um. The gulf is around 600 miles away."
"Well, you can see the storms coming in."
"Uh-huh."
"St. Louis is a nice place, but too hot in the summer. Very damp in the winter, though."
"You mean freezing and icy?"
"Very damp and wet in the winter there. Rains a lot."
Thank god it was time for me to get off the bus at this point. I said bye to Duane and waved politely at the woman. For anyone reading this blog who has never been to the Midwest, our summers are hot, it is true. But our winters are not damp. They are not wet. They are incredibly dry and super-fucking cold. There is no 'wet and damp' like it's a costal area; it doesn't rain. It snows and ices, and there's a bitter wind. You also cannot see the Gulf of Mexico. No way, no how. Visual range on the ocean is 25 miles due to the curvature of the earth. Inland 50 miles, much less 600 miles away in St. Louis, there is no way that you could possibly see the Gulf of Mexico unless you are watching TV. There is a reason that Katrina didn't do any damage to St. Louis, Missouri. That is because St. Louis, Missouri is NOT ON THE FUCKING GULF OF MEXCIO. If she hadn't said that the went to the arch and to St. Louis U, I would have thought she was talking about a different town.
Kalifornia is a different country. Berkeley is a different planet.
Fortunately, I got Duane, the awesome driver that used to drive Habib's route before they got switched. Duane's awesome, friendly, lives in downtown Oakland and drives like it (meaning the bus does about 105 and I get home early). He also takes me all the way to my door, which lies a little outside the service area, a nice thing considering I don't live in the best area of town. So, I get on and there's an older lady on the bus who's talking with him. He's friendly, so he asks if I know her, and I say no, and he in introduces us. She's a librarian from the bay area working at the university, and he says that I'm from St. Louis.
Ann Marie, the librarian, looks like someone who would live in North Berkeley, but I give her the benefit of the doubt considering that she is actually talking with Duane and not being a bitch. She's about 60, has poorly overdone makeup, and is wearing a tweed jacket that doesn't match her sweater or pants. She starts talking about how much she loved St. Louis when she was there, so I figured she just had no fashion sense. The conversation began normally enough.
"My friends and I went to the arch and then to St. Louis university, one of the old buildings there, and we went up to the roof and watched the thunderstorms blow in. I've never seen storms like that before, it was amazing."
"Yeah, the thunderstorms are great. I love the summer when you can see them roll in from miles away."
"Oh yes, I liked watching them roll in over the Gulf of Mexico."
"Um."
"Yes, it was great, those storms would roll in right over the ocean."
"I'm from St. Louis, Missouri, not St. Louis, Louisana." (There is a St. Louis, LA)
"Yes, that's where I was at! The storms coming in over the gulf were amazing."
"Um. The gulf is around 600 miles away."
"Well, you can see the storms coming in."
"Uh-huh."
"St. Louis is a nice place, but too hot in the summer. Very damp in the winter, though."
"You mean freezing and icy?"
"Very damp and wet in the winter there. Rains a lot."
Thank god it was time for me to get off the bus at this point. I said bye to Duane and waved politely at the woman. For anyone reading this blog who has never been to the Midwest, our summers are hot, it is true. But our winters are not damp. They are not wet. They are incredibly dry and super-fucking cold. There is no 'wet and damp' like it's a costal area; it doesn't rain. It snows and ices, and there's a bitter wind. You also cannot see the Gulf of Mexico. No way, no how. Visual range on the ocean is 25 miles due to the curvature of the earth. Inland 50 miles, much less 600 miles away in St. Louis, there is no way that you could possibly see the Gulf of Mexico unless you are watching TV. There is a reason that Katrina didn't do any damage to St. Louis, Missouri. That is because St. Louis, Missouri is NOT ON THE FUCKING GULF OF MEXCIO. If she hadn't said that the went to the arch and to St. Louis U, I would have thought she was talking about a different town.
Kalifornia is a different country. Berkeley is a different planet.
Labels: Strange Things and Weirdos
posted by ChemicalJesus at 11:28 PM
5 Comments:
She was probably just senile. Besides you've met Library and Information Sciences people before (remember Steve?), does her behavior seem odd in any way after taking those two points into consideration?
Yeah, Steve was a special case, though. He was a physics guy, too. The other LIS was Alex. OK, so you have a point. They're all 'special cases.' I don't think the woman was senile, though, just crazy, if there's a difference. You kind of get the sense after you've lived a while here who's senile and who's got that 'Berkeley stare' like a peanut-butter coated rabid weasel trying to read his way out of the disco.
It was bugging me for a bit to figure out what that lady on the bus was talking about, and I think she might actually have been talking about St. Louis Mississippi.
Wikipedia here
Apparently they have an old college there and are right on the gulf. But still have no idea what the whole arch thing she was talking about is (In case you can't tell work isn't exactly taking all my free time).
It's going to be a sad day when we no longer have you in CAlifornia to report to us all of the interesting things that happen there. Of course having you back in town will open the doors to creating our own special sorts of mischief...
Yes, Bay St. Louis, MS. That's what I was thinking of, not St. Louis, LA. Maybe this woman was thinking of that. She mentioned nothing of the Katrina damage, though.
I'm glad that my time out here in the People's Communist Republik of Kalifornia can do at least one good thing: entertain.
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