Albert Pujols Will Burn in Hell

Today, Albert Pujols signed a record deal for $254 million over 10 years with the California Angels. Most of us were shocked; everyone thought that Albert wanted to push the Cardinals' offer as high as it would go, but at the end of the day, he'd resign with us. Now, the Cardinals did not offer him a pittance--they put up $220 million over 10 years as well, plus a part of the franchise ownership.

His choice to sign with the Angels is disgraceful. I, for one, am disgusted. In an economy like this, where people are out of jobs, trying to make enough money to keep their family in a home and provide food, we have a ballplayer who is so greedy that he wants an extra $3 million a year. Sure, $3 million a year is a lot, but it's not all that much when you're already making $20 million a year. How much more do you really need? How much more do you need to bleed the city of St. Louis, whose loyal fans love you and need heroes like yourself to look up to in this miserable time?

Sadly, we misjudged you Albert. We thought you knew what Cardinal Nation was. We thought you knew what it was to be a leader and role model in our community. You have said that people will think what they want to think and will call you greedy, but you know what your motivations really are. We may not know what your motivations are exactly, but we do know this: we sorely misjudged you. We took you at your word, we thought that you were an upstanding, honorable, loyal person and we trusted you. We celebrated with you as you traveled the World Series parade. Now we realize that you were simply using us to get as much money as you could at the time, and that you were taking everything that this city had to offer you like a frat boy fucking a drunk sorority girl and then kicking her out in the street. We now know that it was never about the city, or loyalty--it was all about you.

Now that the shock has worn off, I'm actually glad he's gone. If he's that full of himself, that willing to betray us over money, then he obviously doesn't know what it's like to be a part of Cardinal Nation and doesn't value that intangible. Colby Rasmus did not, and now Albert doesn't either. He was rated as one of the meanest players in baseball by his fellow players. He thinks he's awesome and is allowed to call plays. He is used to being treated like a god, and he relishes it. That attitude is like a cancer on the bench and is probably the reason that the 2010 Cardinals couldn't keep it together at the end of the season (Berkman saved us in 2011). Good riddance, I say. Good luck trying to get those Los Angeles fans to keep from booing you and throwing soda all over you when you strike out, or can't do shit in the post season like you do in most of your games. Do you think that LA is going to let you age gracefully and put you in the every day lineup even when your average is down and you're starting to lose your effectiveness? No way. You'll be sidelined and have to watch from the bench as younger guys get in there and steal the show. Good luck trying to get those LA managers to put up with your prima donna bullshit and holier-than-thou shit-picking, condescending attitude. I hope you remember how good you had it in St. Louis when you face that AL pitching and your average goes down. I hope you miss how much the fans loved you when you came on the field--because I sure as hell know that the LA fans won't be filling their stadium every game like we do. I hope you regret this decision for the rest of your career, because as far as we're concerned, you managed to deport yourself from Cardinal Nation.

Some of you may think the blog title is a bit extreme, a knee-jerk reaction to the sucker-punch Albert dealt us all today--but I assure you, this is not the case. I, for one, don't believe in Hell, so there's no way Albert could wind up there. However, the Ultra-Christian Albert does believe in Hell, and by his own logic, he's going there. Let me explain how.

Everyone sins. Those who confess are admitted to Heaven. Those who do not go to Hell. Except that there are deadly sins, those that taint your soul so much that you cannot repent enough to save yourself from eternal damnation. Some of the venial (minor) sins Albert has committed include lying. Take for instance, his insistence prior to this contract that he "wanted to retire as a Cardinal", and that "it wasn't about money or statistics, it was about baseball and playing as a Cardinal". He said that he would be willing to take less money to stay here in St. Louis. These were out-and-out baldfaced lies. There's no getting around them. When you choose a contract that pays out $3 million more a year (maybe less depending on franchise rights) and you're already making $20 million a year... sorry, that means it is about the money.

The more heinous sins, however, begin with pride. Pride is considered the most serious of the seven deadly sins, as it leads to the others. Albert pays lip service to loving Jesus, and says that he is humble, but how humble can a guy be when he says that $220 million isn't enough because it means he won't be the #1 salaried first baseman in baseball, and that he deserves to be the highest paid first baseman in baseball because he is the best player in MLB. Excuse me? You know you're the best and say you're the best? Not humble, even if it were true. He may be among the greats, but I would be hard pressed to assign a 'greatest' to any one player in Major League Baseball. What kind of self-aggrandizing vainglorious bullshit is that? He's lying to himself if he thinks he is not proud of himself. The arrogance it takes to turn down an outrageous amount of money and years because it is not enough while people in the city who look up to him are starving in the street makes my blood boil.

Next, we have greed. I think this is the most obvious of the sins he's committed--how much does he want? How much would Jesus ask? He knows that the St. Louis market can't pay more than $220 million--I'm surprised we could even afford that. And so he goes, for a only a few million a year more--to a big market. Hope you like your money, Albert--because that extra $3 million a year will be eaten up in taxes once you move to California--those motherfuckers take 37% of your income as state tax. Too bad your extra $3 million a year translates into something more like -$7 million a year out in CA. Ha!

Finally, we come to betrayal, not one of the seven deadly sins per se (although it could be argued that it is a part of pride or greed), but one whose location in hell is conveniently mapped out by Dante. The ninth circle of hell, the lowest, is reserved for those who commit treachery against those with whom they have a special relationship of some kind. There are four concentric rings within the ninth layer, progressing inward as the sin becomes worse, to the fourth circle, which is reserved for those who betrayed their benefactors. Let's be clear: the city of St. Louis, the Cardinals organization, and the people of this town were all his benefactors--and he betrayed us. He openly lied to us in order to gain our trust, goodwill, and let's not forget--money. He betrayed this trust when he turned down a very generous offer for slightly more money from another city, leaving us, who looked up to him and honored him as a member of our community. This is betrayal of the worst sort. Only Satan himself, at the center of the fourth ring, is worse (for betraying a personal relationship with God).

Thus, Albert is doomed to dwell not far from Satan himself if his beliefs are right. He better quit praying to God and start practicing Atheism, because a non-existent God doesn't give a shit how greedy he is.

Some of you may say that he's given us 11 great years. Sure, he has been a top player during the regular season, but his performance during the post-season has been less than stellar. He had one record setting game during the 2011 world series, and other than that, he has done very little during any of the post seasons he's played. I'm actually glad we dumped him--we got the best 11 years out of him, and he will slow down after a few years. Some of you may point to his charity work. Yes, he has done charity work (mostly for kids and his native Dominican Republic), but it's all faith-based--and not the good kind. It's like those missions that travel to Africa and offer to build the people a well--if they convert to Christianity. It might not be quite as heavy-handed, but all the things he signs have "Jesus is my savior" and crap like that written on them. Let's also not forget that he DESTROYED our classical radio station here in St. Louis. Classic 99.1 FM (may it rest in peace) was bought out by money donated in large part by Albert. It was our only classical station, and he bought it out to remake the station as a Christian rock station. We already had a few of these, and they all blow. I find it shameful that he would decimate the arts as much as he did by killing Classic 99. I should have known then that he was a destructive force that was not worthy of our attention.

Jesus may love you Albert, but the rest of us think you're an asshole.

Twilight: F- (0 stars)

I finally broke down and watched Twilight. My curiosity got the better of me. I had to see what the hype was all about. Don't worry, I didn't waste any money on it, I downloaded it illegally. Whoops, did I say that? For any of you FBI agents reading this, I paid legal tender (untraceable cash of course) to a non-descript vendor to rent said motion picture. Yes. Really. OK, so, where was I? Oh yeah, Twilight.

At first, I was duly impressed with the lighting, the neat trees of Oregon, and the overall cinematography. Unfortunately, that was the only redeeming feature of the film and was akin to liking the paint job on the car, but nothing else. Yes, it can make a good car awesome, but a 1979 Yugo with a cranberry red and white racing stripes paint job is still a piece of shit. As the saying goes, you can't polish a turd.

Where to even begin with this travesty of celluloid? I shall break this movie down into components:

Cinematography/Visual Effects: B+
Acting: F
Script: F-
Plot: F-

Overall, that means the film is around an F.

The cinematography was pretty good. There were a number of shots that were interesting, and although there were too many cuts for my taste, leaving the movie feeling like a TV show, the colors and scene choices were pretty good. The reason it's a B+ and not an A- is simple: Edward's sparkling. His supposed 'sparkling' came off as a blurry distortion like someone is coming out of a dream sequence. It's almost unnoticable. Attention Hollywood: if you are going to hype a movie, spend some $$ for some decent CGI, don't let some asshole with a kaleidoscope lens do your shots for you.

As for the acting... since most of the actors in this movie were relatively unknown, it was hard to tell where the fireplace-worthy script ended and the horrid acting began. However, Edward (Robert Pattinson) has appeared in some other flicks, most notably one of the Harry Potter movies, and although he is a fairly talentless actor, he is rather inoffensive when not in a lead role. Unfortunately, putting him in the lead, then compounding this mistake by giving him a script that could have been written by a 3rd grader, led to major problems. Every line he spoke was in the same, breathy, monotone, emotionless voice. Great, you're not only a vampire, you're a fucking emo-douchebag vampire. Not to mention that, but he's supposed to be 'gorgeous'? I realize the 'messed up hair' look is in, but does your led actor have to look like he just got out of bed? And gorgeous Robert Pattinson is not. His face is flat and his nose is smashed like a professional football player. And his eyebrows? Are you kidding me? There is one reason that man does not have a Uni-brow: John Deere. They had to get a tractor with a brush hog to chop that bastard in half. It looks like two caterpillars crawled up on his forehead and started fucking. Ugh. Bella was no help either, obviously having graduated from the Keanu Reaves School of Acting. You know the one, where Ben Affleck was an honor roll student? Yeah, well she failed a year there. Did you notice how much she blinks? Try a drinking game where you take a shot every time she blinks. You'll be drunk and about 15 shots behind after the first 30 seconds of her appearing on the screen. And all her lines are delivered with this same expression of surprise/shock, like someone just showed her pornographic photos of her mom with three midgets.

The script is perhaps the worst part of the entire movie. I don't know how close it is to the original writing, but if it's even 2% accurate, the publishers should be ashamed of themselves. The script consisted of cut-off sentences, stuttered words, and the actors looking at one another and being unable to say anything. Take, for example, Bella's lines:

*GASP* "Oh..." *heavy breathing* "Bu..." *GASP* "I.." *panting* "oo..."

That happened over and over and over and over and over... and I could keep on writing this, so I will say (over and over)^23. Yes, it was that bad. Now, read those lines again and imagine a porno. Not too much of a stretch is it? That's right, this movie had a script that was worthy of a porno. Bella treats her dad like shit and never tells him that she loves him. She never completely utters a coherent thought. Is she the long lost daughter of George W. Bush? Is she mentally incapacitated? She HAS NO FUCKING LINES. The story should be conveyed through one of two things: the script or the acting. Since the acting was of low quality at best and they couldn't convey that they were in pain after a leg was chopped off, the script had to do the job. Only problem was that the script was worse than the acting. The plot (such as it was) died only a short while into the film, leaving the viewer confused. If someone had not told me the general plotline before I saw the movie, I would have no idea what the fuck was going on. Obviously the producers saw this since they had Bella do a voice over to try and explain some of the shoddily stapled together story, but that fell flat, too.

Finally we come to the plot itself. I have seen more creativeness from my dogs, who eat their own feces and rub themselves on the corpses of dead rodents. Disregarding the actual storyline for a moment, take a look at the serious problems of logic:

- Vampires are not killed by sunlight
- Most vampires are evil and kill humans
- Vampires are super-fast, super-strong, and almost impossible to kill

OK... why don't vampires rule the world? They can make other vampires out of humans. They could obviously capture and breed humans for food much the same way we do with cattle. They have NO REASON to be afraid of humans, and yet... they wish to keep their identities a secret. WHY? For god's sake, WHY? If they are super-powerful and there is no easy way to destroy them, then who the fuck cares? Show yourself and tear up hell and creation and own the world! Traditionally, vampires are powerful creatures, yes, but they have limitations on them, such as being turned to dust by sunlight, being killed by wooden stakes, beheading, or immersion in running water. They sometimes have to live in coffins to regenerate. They are sometimes controlled by a master vampire. But in this world? Nope. They are free to do what they want and there is no simple way to kill one. Logically, an evil creature would have taken over the world by now. Plot fails there.

Problem 2: Location. Yes, the vampires live in the Pacific Northwest because they can't be seen in sunlight. But they have to move every so often or they are found out for what they are because they don't age. OK, well, how many areas can you live in the PNW without people recognizing you? Seriously. There are not that many places in the world that get very little sunlight all year. Where do they live when they're not lying their asses off? A cave? Do they live in a cave for 80 years until one generation forgets about them, then pop out and live in a town for 10-15 years, then go back to the cave? This really makes no sense. They're worldly, but they can't go places with sunlight. Hmm. This gets back to the main problem of why they don't just walk out in the sunlight and kill everyone. This is where True Blood did a much better job with the vampire logic, despite its own problems.

Maybe I should have read the books because they were 'better', but I think that 2 hours of my life is more than enough to devote to this cinematic disaster. The only hope is that 'Twilight' precedes the sunset, which is a metaphor for 'The End'. In the case of these movies, that sunset cannot come quickly enough.

Things I'll miss about Kalifornia

Kalifornia: Mass Irresponsibility

I'm getting sick. I've got a tremendous amount of work ahead of me for the next few days. I have a long journey ahead of that. I still have a hundred pages or more of thesis to write in a short time once I'm back. But I'm happy. I can't remember being this happy in the last 6.5 years. I paid for gas by credit card yesterday and it asked me for my zip code. I put in my zip code here and it gave me an error. Then I realized that I had already changed my zip to my home address. It made me smile. Then today I put my faceplate back on my radio. I was able to listen to my car's stereo for the first time in 6.5 years without fear of some jackass stealing it because I was parking it in a crappy area of town. It makes me feel good to cruise down the road in my jalopy blasting the classical music. My car is running well. The A/C will freeze hell over in about 2 minutes for the first time in years. I'm making the time to say goodbye to the few people out here that are worth a shit (all but one from out of state originally). It gave me great pleasure when my advisor asked me to come into Berkeley one more time to talk to him face to face, and I said no.

And yet, someone out here told me that there were many things that I could do here that I couldn't back home, and that I'd miss them. At first, I wanted to completely dismiss the idea, as I hate this place. But then I came to my senses and realized that yes, there would be a few things that I couldn't do back home that I can do here:

1. Walk across the Golden Gate Bridge
2. See the pacific ocean
3. Pay $5 a gallon for gas
4. Get stuck in traffic that takes 2.5 hours to go 8 blocks
5. Have to get a bicycle rider's license to ride my own goddamn bike
6. Be charged with a felony for throwing batteries in the trash
7. Watch rich men pick up hookers at 6am in order to use the carpool lane on the bridge
8. Wait in a 2 hour line to hike up a mountain (e.g., Halfdome in Yosemite)
9. Get arrested for having a firearm magazine that holds more than 10 rounds
10. Have my car stolen, then auctioned off by the police

How many of those am I going to miss? None. You could wonder about #1 and #2 at least, but let me tell you: the Golden Gate Bridge looks better in pictures, is too fucking crowded and cold as hell. The Pacific Ocean is useless, windy, and cold. Not good for swimming, and crowded and nasty.

I looked at my address book of friends I made in Illinois: 23 people on that list I stay in contact with still. I looked at the list of people I met out here that I'm going to stay in contact with after I leave: 5. I was in Illinois for 5 years. I've been here for 6.5. Out of the miraculous 5 people I met here, ONE is actually from California. The rest are out of staters.

As for this shithole of a state, it's going down the drain already. This article has some hope at the end, but I'm here to tell you: there is no hope for this hell on earth. When God made all creation, he or she turned a blind eye to this state. There is one quote in that article which fully sums up the awful existence of this place:

"If California was an experiment then it was an experiment of mass irresponsibility – and that has failed." -- Michael Levine.

Mass Killings: Not on Target

I was reading the headlines on Google news today, reading about the suicide bombers in Pakistan who killed 20 people and wondered why it is that no one thinks much about this, but everyone gets up in arms (so to speak) over mass killings that happen here in the US, even when far fewer have died. Then it occurred to me: we don't give a shit about the people in Pakistan. Or Palestine, Israel or any other country on earth. We're so xenophobic that we don't give a rat's ass about anyone but the 'innocent' here in America. The target of the killings drives our anger and outrage over the incident. Thus, I have a new proposal: change targets.

Yes, that's right. If you MUST go out and commit suicide by first killing a lot of people and then yourself or having the police shoot you, please, choose better targets. No one wants to see schoolchildren die. No one wants to see malls shot up (well, OK, the people in the malls that is; there's probably quite a few of us who would love to see some malls burned to the ground). The mass/spree killers can still have their fun without arousing public ire if they choose the right targets. Don't believe me? Think about these targets for a minute:

- NAMBLA convention
- KKK rally
- Al-Qadia cell^*
- Neo-Nazi gathering

* = The US military will pay you to do this

That's right: you can commit suicide after a mass killing and still be a hero! Do you really think anyone would give even HALF a shit if Joe Schmo took his AK-47 and cleaned house at the NAMBLA convention? I can the nightly news now:

"Thanks for that lead story about the cat stuck in the tree on 4th St, Ted."
"No problem, Sam. What do you have for us?"
"Well, Ted, it appears that Joe Schmo took the law into his own hands tonight when he gunned down a bunch of 40 year old pedophiles at a NAMBLA convention before turning the gun on himself. He was using an 'assault weapon', which allowed him to kill more of the sick bastards."
"We're gonna miss you, Joe. Sorry you had to go, but at least you remembered to take out the trash before you left."
"That's right. And anyone who wants to donate to the funeral costs is encouraged to bid on the weapon used in the crime, which is currently listed on E-bay."
"We'd like to remind our viewers that the sale of the weapon will cover Joe's funeral costs, not those of the perverts."

Yeah. No one would give two shits. It'd be a 2 second sound bite on the evening news, give a few people a laugh, and that'd be about it. So for any sick bastard reading this who wants to go on a spree killing: choose an appropriate target.

Treating the Core

This recent spate of mass shootings has spawned a large outcry in certain circles to ban assault weapons. Not only is this irrelevant, as most of these shootings did not incorporate a so-called 'assault weapon', but it complete avoids the point, the same way the rabid pro-gun people think the answer is arming the entire populace.

First, people should realize that mass killings (not just shootings) are rare in the extreme, claiming on average 30 lives a year. Yes, we've had 53 die this year from mass killings thus far, above the average. But let's face it: that's 53 people. That's really statistically insignificant. We've had far more soldiers die on our behalf in EVERY major war we've ever been in, take your pick. 43,005 people died in car wrecks along in 2002. THAT is statistically significant in a country of 300,000,000 people and it's still only 0.0143%! 53 people? 0.0000177%. NOT SIGNIFICANT.

The mainstream media sensationalizes such bullshit in order to make headlines with someone's awful tragedy and/or to push an agenda. And if they're going to sensationalize the deaths of a number of people, how about we do something useful with it rather than try to erode our civil rights and bring us one step closer to a police state?

I'm talking about mental health. This country has ignored mental health issues for FAR too long. I would wager that most if not ALL of these mass killers had SOME (or many) mental health issues. Whether these issues were overlooked, whether the government ignored them or failed to get them the attention they needed, or whether their doctors simply sucked and didn't medicate them properly--we need to reevaluate the shambles that our mental health system is in.

I don't mean to say that we need to ban patients with mental health issues from buying guns--there's already laws against that and that's treating the symptom, just like banning all firearms. The real issue is to come up with an effective, compassionate way to help those in our country with mental health problems. There is no easy or simple solution. Whacking people up with drugs until they are in a catatonic state and then locking them up in a mental institution is not a very compassionate (or even sometimes very effective) method of dealing with the problem, and locking them up in prison certainly isn't either. If you've ever been in California, you'd know that leaving them untreated to fend for themselves on the streets isn't a very good idea either, since that's where most of them live here. This country needs a system where those with mental health issues get the counseling, medication, and supervision that they require and deserve. Social workers need to double check doctors medications and not let them whore themselves out to drug companies, make sure that patients aren't going overlooked as they become increasingly more unstable, and keeping people from slipping through the cracks and winding up on the streets of some godforsaken place like California.

No, there has to be an effective solution somewhere. Yes, there are those that need to be in a mental institution because they are too dangerous to be out in society, but there are far more people in need of help that are a functioning part of society like everyone else. For fuck's sake, you can't build a building anymore without making it handicapped accessible; I don't see why we can't spend some money to fix our mental health system.

As a society, there are things that our tax monies pay for that are for the collective good. Yes, it is good that we have police, fire fighters and teachers. It's also good that we have social workers and the VA. Leaving people who desperately need help (mentally, financially, whatever) on the streets will only serve to increase problems for society as a whole. Where do we get the tax money, you ask? How about we release a bunch of non-violent felons? After talking with Dave, I am amazed at how much money we waste on keeping people like him in prison. What the hell? A guy is convicted of tax fraud and we have to pay for his room and board? Put him under fucking house arrest and let him be a productive member of society. Take that money you'd save and bolster our mental health services.

If 53 people had to die to bring attention to this issue, it is a very small price to pay. Far more men and women have given their lives in protection of our freedoms over the years. Why should the media not use this opportunity to turn senseless killings into something good?

Unfortunately, the only things likely to come of this are bans on certain types of weapons, more discrimination against foreigners/the mentally ill/firearms owners/blacks/etc. and a huge glut of spending on police. Without treating the core of the problems, like a fucked up economy, lack of education, and a deteriorating social help structure, things like these spree killings will continue unabated.

Strange Things and Weirdos X

After a long hiatus from the Strange Things and Weirdos installments, we are back. This, of course, is precipitated from a trip to Berkeley.

Walking up to campus from where I parked today, I see two guys, both kind of dirty, smelly hippie types, who, if you took a picture of them, appeared to be wrestling. But this was not a picture. This was two guys in dirty flannel in a weird Greco-Roman wrestling pose, complete with wide stance, low center of gravity and arms locked, standing completely motionless. I watched them for a good 45 seconds. No sound, no heavy breathing, no obvious signs of strain, only standing there. Could this be a new type of street art? Were they two homeless bums totally lost in their own drug-induced world? Were they simply two crazies fighting Darth Vader? Or was it perhaps the bizarre experiment of two physics undergrads? We shall never know.

On my way back, I saw some more of this 'street performance art', if you will. Totally deserted, down by the high school, two goths were standing on the sidewalk, facing parallel to the road (like 90° to where they would be if waiting for a bus), cigarette in the right hand, book held open in the left, perfectly still, silent, and weird. Both wore black berets and tan or grey wool trenchcoats. Neither was puffing on the cigarette, nor exhaling smoke. What's weird was that they weren't standing in a particularly well-lit area, so I'm not sure they were reading, and they were not standing at a bus stop. So what were they there for? An homage to the Greco-Roman statues earlier today? Again, sadly, we shall never know.

The last item to add to this list isn't all that strange or weird in Berkeley, but it is in the rest of the country. While down at the local Ben & Jerry's getting ice cream, a homeless man came in with no shoes, khakis, a flannel shirt and bicycle gloves, and asked us for money for an ice cream. He had crushed up crackers in his mouth and only a few teeth. He started bothering everyone, and the clerk asked him to leave. He didn't, and then she told him to leave. Repeatedly. But she got no respect from his old worthless ass. So, because I'm from the midwest, we don't put up with this shit back home, and the poor girl working the Ben & Jerry's looked like she needed some help, I stood up and threw his dumb ass out of the store. Fortunately, I didn't have to actually *touch* him, as I was reluctantly prepared to do, but I did get up in his face and tell him in no uncertain terms to get out. After asking me if I was going to kick his ass, he left. I think I would have kicked the shit out of him had I been in another state, but this fucking state would probably send me in with Dave if I were to even touch his sorry, nasty ass.

Which brings me to my last, and off-topic point: Dave is now in his permament home for the next couple years in Leavenworth Kansas, at a Federal work camp. If you want his address, drop me an e-mail.

A New Joke: California!

Get it? California! OK, you should be laughing now. You're not? Yeah, me neither. I've now totally had it with this shithole state once and for all. Apparently our wonderful Governator, Arnie, announced to the great state of Kalee forn yuh that we are broke. We will be out of money by February. Fine, we're out of money, it's only some bullshit accounting, right? Nope. If they don't figure out the budget soon, the state will issue IOUs instead of checks for income tax refunds. You heard that right: the sate will give me an IOU.

Now, I've already paid my money. The state actually has MY MONEY. They owe it back to me. And for those of you who say "Oh, well you should have claimed the right withholding," that doesn't work for me. Since the lab switched over to private ownership, we as students were forced to pay our own tuition. They raised our salaries the exact amount that tuition was so that we could pay for it. Sounds good except for one little detail: our tuition has to come from our post-tax pay. So it looks like I'm making about 33-40% more than I actually am, since $10,000 of it a year goes to tuition. Of that $10k, I get about $7k after tax, so I have to front the extra $3k until tax time when I get that money back, since it is a fair deduction/credit for education. Except that this year, I'm not getting my state money back, which is a LOT because it's not only my NORMAL salary tax, but it's part of that $3k in tuition, and it's ALSO the extra tax taken out because that salary boost to cover tuition puts me in a higher tax bracket. Oh yeah, it's a fucking shitstorm of awesome. And, since I can only claim 1 dependent (unless I claim my plants and my cello, none of which I think the IRS would approve), I only get that in withholding due to the way that this shit ass lab system works.

In short, I am fucked. Kalifornia will fuck me in the ass as hard as it can before I leave. And when I leave, I will stop on the Nevada border and piss into Kalifornia to show my disdain of this godforsaken piece of shit.

Why is this state out of money? Lots of reasons, including gross entitlements, illegal immigrants, tax loopholes for the rich, but mostly: we have incompetent legislators. We have retarded amounts of entitlements in this state. Why does the city of Berkeley spend money to provide lockers for the homeless? The illegal immigrants keep our produce prices low, but they're paid in cash, never pay income tax, and they use our tax dollars for heathcare and schools. Then there's the loopholes for the rich, like how if you take your luxury yacht out into international waters to transfer the title, you don't have to pay tax.

But the worst are the legislators that put all this into existence at all. The fools pass TONS of useless legislation that is a waste of money. Why do we have to spend a tremendous amount of money on keeping records of gun owners and every transaction they make? Why do we have to make it illegal for someone to buy a car from out of state, and all the investigation that entails? Where does the money go from our 'California recycle value' deposit we put on our plastic jugs, because if you turn them in at a recycle center, you sure as hell never see the $0.10 per bottle you pay. Why do we have this ridiculous smog system that doesn't keep smog out of our cities? Why do we have the highest gas prices in the nation, yet a coastline full of refineries? This whole place is a big waste of money and time as far as I'm concerned. Come visit, see the cool trees at Sequoia and Muir Woods, then leave.

It'll be nice to get to New Mexico next week and get out of this state, if only for a short while.