Useless Friends

Last night I went to a friend's house for 'movie night'. It's our way of hanging out together. One of my friends who was there always antagonizes me about not liking Kalifornia, telling me it's not that bad. We usually playfully banter back and forth about it, which I have no problem with. She began again on me last night, and we were joking around when one of my other friends entered into the conversation and was serious. Then the argument became rather heated and I became pissed off. The basic assertion of these two women was that people in Berkeley are more friendly than people in the midwest. They said that I only saw people as unfriendly here because I expected people to be rude and that people were nice to me back home because I had a different attitude there. They wouldn't listen to me, and one of my friends (the one who joined in later) insisted that people in the midwest wouldn't talk to her. Well, fuck them, here's my answer to them, despite their unwillingness to listen.

First, realize that people in the midwest won't bother you if you look like you're in a hurry, staring at your feet and have a pissed off look on your face. So, since you have a Kalifornia attitude already, don't expect anyone to kiss your ass. Second, I don't know who the fuck you talked to in Berkeley, but let me know who they are so that I can actually have someone talk to me further than "unh". Third, people are more inclined to talk to you here, because both of you are good looking girls, of which there is a major shortage here. Back in the midwest, you're in a larger pond and thus attract less attention.

Next, I am accused of having a different attitude at home. I wish that were true. Every time I go home, I find myself ignoring people, not making eye contact, and not talking to people. After a few people at checkstands or just walking down the street say hi to me, I have to remind myself I'm not in hell any longer and that I can actually talk to people without getting ignored or yelled at. But the people at home ARE more friendly. I think so. My parents think so. All of my friends who have visited Kalifornia think so. Co-workers who came out here from the midwest think so. I'm not crazy and don't have skewed perceptions. People here are just assholes.

Which brings up another point: my attitude toward people here and my expectations. When I first came here, I expected everyone to be nice; nicer than the midwest in fact. I'd heard that Berkeley was very liberal, and I thought that would be a welcome break from the conservative assholes back home--but it wasn't. People here were more rude than all but the worst conservative assholes back home. It's part of what contributed to my first two years out here being so miserable. That was an expectation on my part that people would be NICE--not that I expected them to be assholes like was implied. Now, of course, I do expect people to be assholes, but that's after 3 years here.

In short, the accusations were garbage, and all I wound up being was pissed off for nothing. My friend I usually banter with diffused the situation pretty well once we got to the house, but my other friend kept at me for a bit. I just about got up and left.

There's only one place I've ever been where the people were more unfriendly than Berkeley, and that's Rolla. Guess what? I wouldn't live in either and if the Air Force accidentally bombed either of them to the ground I woudn't shed a tear.

So, what have I learned here? Even friends you have here are slightly Kaliforniaized. I'll be amazed if I leave here with more than one friend.