Kalifornians Suck
Although this title is reminiscent of an earlier post, it does require some rehashing. Those inhabitants of this reasonably fair land (remember, the land doesn't suck) deserve another good verbal lashing, and that they shall soon recieve.
First, we shall start out with the adage that anything Kalifornians set out to do, they don't do right. On my journey to Sequoia National Park, I drove through some highly rural areas. These rural areas are much the same as the rest of the rural US--small towns, farms, two-laned roads, etc. They even have the same shot-up signs that most of the rural US has. There is a notable difference, though: wherever else you go in the rural US, the signs have tons of holes in them from being shot. Here in Kalifornia, the signs are simply dented. They're dented because someone shot them with a .22 LR. It's about the only round that won't penetrate a sign, and a BB gun or air rifle won't dent it. So, the Kalifornians can't even shoot up signs properly--they use .22s to do it, thus only denting the sign.
At this point, I must also speak to the roads in Kalifornia as a little aside. We shall now enter Entropy's Postulate, which says that when in Kalifornia, you are limited to 15 mph, whether due to the lay of the road or the traffic. We weren't proved wrong in Sequoia. The road there was so windy and twisty that I began to get motion sickness, and I have never done so before. The roads have a maximum speed of about 15 mph, sometimes less. While in the park, this isn't bad, considering you're going slow and looking at things, but on the highways it's terrible.
And now, for the grand finale and the story that got this rant started in the first place. Last night I was on my way to a rehearsal for a concert and happened upon a person lying on the ground. As I approached, I realized that there was one 80 year old woman lying on the ground and one of her 80 year old friends was with her. Apparently the woman lying on the ground had fallen and hit her head, cutting part of her scalp. Now, the amazing thing is that as I was approaching, I noticed at least 5 students keep on walking by as if nothing was happening. I immediately stopped, placing my tuxedo on the ground, and helped the woman sit up, giving her some napkins that I had brought with me for snacks at the concert. Another young man stopped, and we helped her to her feet, then took her to the faculty club, where she was destined for in the first place, and she got some help there. As it turns out, the other guy who stopped was from Michigan. While we were stopped there, at least 10 people walked by us as if we weren't even there. What the fuck? What's wrong with these people out here? See an elderly woman lying on the ground and you don't want to help? Fucking assholes. I'm surprised that no one walked on my tuxedo or didn't outright steal it while I was gone. People out here are inconsiderate assholes, rude, and never think outside themselves. Fuck them. I hate this place.
First, we shall start out with the adage that anything Kalifornians set out to do, they don't do right. On my journey to Sequoia National Park, I drove through some highly rural areas. These rural areas are much the same as the rest of the rural US--small towns, farms, two-laned roads, etc. They even have the same shot-up signs that most of the rural US has. There is a notable difference, though: wherever else you go in the rural US, the signs have tons of holes in them from being shot. Here in Kalifornia, the signs are simply dented. They're dented because someone shot them with a .22 LR. It's about the only round that won't penetrate a sign, and a BB gun or air rifle won't dent it. So, the Kalifornians can't even shoot up signs properly--they use .22s to do it, thus only denting the sign.
At this point, I must also speak to the roads in Kalifornia as a little aside. We shall now enter Entropy's Postulate, which says that when in Kalifornia, you are limited to 15 mph, whether due to the lay of the road or the traffic. We weren't proved wrong in Sequoia. The road there was so windy and twisty that I began to get motion sickness, and I have never done so before. The roads have a maximum speed of about 15 mph, sometimes less. While in the park, this isn't bad, considering you're going slow and looking at things, but on the highways it's terrible.
And now, for the grand finale and the story that got this rant started in the first place. Last night I was on my way to a rehearsal for a concert and happened upon a person lying on the ground. As I approached, I realized that there was one 80 year old woman lying on the ground and one of her 80 year old friends was with her. Apparently the woman lying on the ground had fallen and hit her head, cutting part of her scalp. Now, the amazing thing is that as I was approaching, I noticed at least 5 students keep on walking by as if nothing was happening. I immediately stopped, placing my tuxedo on the ground, and helped the woman sit up, giving her some napkins that I had brought with me for snacks at the concert. Another young man stopped, and we helped her to her feet, then took her to the faculty club, where she was destined for in the first place, and she got some help there. As it turns out, the other guy who stopped was from Michigan. While we were stopped there, at least 10 people walked by us as if we weren't even there. What the fuck? What's wrong with these people out here? See an elderly woman lying on the ground and you don't want to help? Fucking assholes. I'm surprised that no one walked on my tuxedo or didn't outright steal it while I was gone. People out here are inconsiderate assholes, rude, and never think outside themselves. Fuck them. I hate this place.
posted by ChemicalJesus at 2:38 PM
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