Strange Things and Weirdos II
This town is fucked up. I walked in today carrying a roll of Kraft paper and a 3' long, 1/2" diameter steel rod in my backpack--sticking out, of course. I met 5 people I knew on the way in, and even more that I didn't know. Not a single one asked me what I had or what I was carrying. Makes me think that I could walk in here carrying a HEAT round and no one would ask any questions. I guess people have seen far stranger things so they don't think it's strange if they see someone carrying a large steel bar around. Maybe if I had a tree growing out of my backpack... Nah.
So, we have a double-whammy today. The first is amusing, but not so incredible. I'm walking up University, the main drag to campus in town, and see a guy ahead of me waiting for the crosswalk light. Yes, people actually use them here, and traffic actually respects pedestrians. It's incredible. This guy is a 40ish asian with black hair that's going gray in a pony tail, a slight pot belly, two wrist braces a gray T-shirt and black jeans that are a little ripped at the bottom. He's wearing those Morpheus-style sunglasses that just clip onto your nose. So, he's waiting for the light to change, and it does. He then turns 90 degrees and looks at the other crosswalk light, which is now red. I figured he had changed his mind or forgotten something so he had to go the other direction now. I've done that before. No big deal. By this time, I'm behind him, waiting for the same light he is. As soon as the light signals that he can walk, he turns 90 degrees and starts waiting for the other crosswalk light again. I sort of shook my head, but went across the street to the bank. I came out, and there he is again, still waiting on the same street corner for the light to change. What the fuck is he doing? Is he some sort of crosswalk zen-master, eternally waiting for the light to change, somehow deriving the secrets of the universe from his eternal torment like Sysiphus? Is he paid to monitor the times between crosswalk light changes? He wasn't even a button-pusher for the crosswalk light, because this crosswalk didn't have them. This town is full of people like this. You wonder what they get paid to do.
Just two more blocks up, right after I had bought my steel bar and kraft paper at the hardware store, I see the second and more amazing strange event of the day. Right in front of the university, on the street in front of the circle drive that is the beginning of campus, a car is parked on the street. And it's on fire. This is a late-model silver Mistubishi something-or-other, and it's parked at a meter along with a bunch of other cars, but this one is pouring smoke like a car from Grand Theft Auto that has hit one too many buildings. There's a small lawn just beyond the car where people sunbathe, and sure enough, people are laying out on their blankets, not 20 feet from this car, not seeming to give a shit at all, even that they were smelling burning God-knows-what from the engine. Well, I keep on walking, as I don't have a fire extinguisher and there's nothing I can do about it. I did resolve to tell the nearest person that I saw, or to call 911 when I hit a phone. As it turns out, at the top of this cirle drive, maybe 100 feet from this car on fire, is a little glass hut that houses some hourly student worker who answers questions, deals with parking slips, etc. He's in there with his back to the fire and reading a newspaper. I went up to him and said "You've probably already been told this, but there's a silver Mitsubishi down there on fire." He looks behind him and says "Oh yeah. Look at that smoke." No shit, Sherlock. It looks like the jolly green giant is burning tires on a barbecue grill there's so much smoke. Then he looks and says "Here comes the firetruck now. They'll take care of it." and he turns back around and starts reading again.
Now, at this point, there is a firetruck heading for this fire, so I figured that they were coming for it. They didn't have their lights and sirens on, which I thought was unusual, but this is a weird town, so I thought nothing of it. The firetruck is in the right hand lane. The car is just to the right of that, pouring out black smoke that's going to leave oil stains on everything in a two block radius. Then came the strange, weird, and ultimately amazing part. The firetruck kept on going. It didn't even slow down. Just kept on driving by. What do the firefighters do in this town?!? They see a fire and don't put it out?!?!? What was going through their minds? "Well, we didn't receive a call on it yet. Maybe it's just a false alarm." or "We're union and on break right now. Can't stop to put out a fire." What the fuck? What do they get paid for? Drinking in the firehouse? I lost all respect for the Berkeley FD today.
As far as I know, the car has burned itself out and our crosswalk zen friend is still waiting for the light to change. I hate this town.
So, we have a double-whammy today. The first is amusing, but not so incredible. I'm walking up University, the main drag to campus in town, and see a guy ahead of me waiting for the crosswalk light. Yes, people actually use them here, and traffic actually respects pedestrians. It's incredible. This guy is a 40ish asian with black hair that's going gray in a pony tail, a slight pot belly, two wrist braces a gray T-shirt and black jeans that are a little ripped at the bottom. He's wearing those Morpheus-style sunglasses that just clip onto your nose. So, he's waiting for the light to change, and it does. He then turns 90 degrees and looks at the other crosswalk light, which is now red. I figured he had changed his mind or forgotten something so he had to go the other direction now. I've done that before. No big deal. By this time, I'm behind him, waiting for the same light he is. As soon as the light signals that he can walk, he turns 90 degrees and starts waiting for the other crosswalk light again. I sort of shook my head, but went across the street to the bank. I came out, and there he is again, still waiting on the same street corner for the light to change. What the fuck is he doing? Is he some sort of crosswalk zen-master, eternally waiting for the light to change, somehow deriving the secrets of the universe from his eternal torment like Sysiphus? Is he paid to monitor the times between crosswalk light changes? He wasn't even a button-pusher for the crosswalk light, because this crosswalk didn't have them. This town is full of people like this. You wonder what they get paid to do.
Just two more blocks up, right after I had bought my steel bar and kraft paper at the hardware store, I see the second and more amazing strange event of the day. Right in front of the university, on the street in front of the circle drive that is the beginning of campus, a car is parked on the street. And it's on fire. This is a late-model silver Mistubishi something-or-other, and it's parked at a meter along with a bunch of other cars, but this one is pouring smoke like a car from Grand Theft Auto that has hit one too many buildings. There's a small lawn just beyond the car where people sunbathe, and sure enough, people are laying out on their blankets, not 20 feet from this car, not seeming to give a shit at all, even that they were smelling burning God-knows-what from the engine. Well, I keep on walking, as I don't have a fire extinguisher and there's nothing I can do about it. I did resolve to tell the nearest person that I saw, or to call 911 when I hit a phone. As it turns out, at the top of this cirle drive, maybe 100 feet from this car on fire, is a little glass hut that houses some hourly student worker who answers questions, deals with parking slips, etc. He's in there with his back to the fire and reading a newspaper. I went up to him and said "You've probably already been told this, but there's a silver Mitsubishi down there on fire." He looks behind him and says "Oh yeah. Look at that smoke." No shit, Sherlock. It looks like the jolly green giant is burning tires on a barbecue grill there's so much smoke. Then he looks and says "Here comes the firetruck now. They'll take care of it." and he turns back around and starts reading again.
Now, at this point, there is a firetruck heading for this fire, so I figured that they were coming for it. They didn't have their lights and sirens on, which I thought was unusual, but this is a weird town, so I thought nothing of it. The firetruck is in the right hand lane. The car is just to the right of that, pouring out black smoke that's going to leave oil stains on everything in a two block radius. Then came the strange, weird, and ultimately amazing part. The firetruck kept on going. It didn't even slow down. Just kept on driving by. What do the firefighters do in this town?!? They see a fire and don't put it out?!?!? What was going through their minds? "Well, we didn't receive a call on it yet. Maybe it's just a false alarm." or "We're union and on break right now. Can't stop to put out a fire." What the fuck? What do they get paid for? Drinking in the firehouse? I lost all respect for the Berkeley FD today.
As far as I know, the car has burned itself out and our crosswalk zen friend is still waiting for the light to change. I hate this town.
Labels: Strange Things and Weirdos
posted by ChemicalJesus at 12:18 PM
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