Missouri Loves Company

So, I'm considering adopting a new course of action when I tell Kalifornians where I'm from. Rather than regail them with my anecdotes of how much better it is to live in the midwest, I am going to do the opposite: tell them how shitty the midwest is. 'Why, oh why do you wish to disparage your homeland?' you might ask. The reason is simple. Native Kalifornians and those who choose to make this land their home (aside from those poor wretches like myself who are forced to live here for a time) are rude, thoughtless, idiotic, and apathetic. I've probably left some deragatory adjectives out, but we'll go with that for now. I see first hand every day what those qualities do to the place around me. I would hate to see the values (or lack thereof) and qualities espoused by Kalifornians to make it back to the midwest and make it downright miserable. We already have horrible conservatives back there. No need to make everyone an asshole, too.

So when people ask me 'How was life back in Iowa?' because they equate Iowa with Arkansas, Kansas, Missouri, Oklahoma, Illinois, Michigan, Wisconsin, and pretty much any state that isn't Kalifornia, Texas or New York, I'll reply 'Shitty. It's horrible. You never want to live there. You would be miserably unhappy there. Tell your friends.' Hopefully we won't have to live in the apathy that pervades this place.

On a side note, the average reader might get the idea that I hate this state. Not so. I say I hate this state out of convenience of not having to say 'I hate the people in this state' over and over. Besides, the state itself is a human-contrived notion, so saying I hate the state is more like saying that I hate the people here. This state is beautiful in places. Mostly those unraped by excessive human filth, but there are beautiful places nonetheless. I am amazed at the trees, the birds, and some of the mammals that have managed to survive out here despite the horrible dehabitation that goes on.