Thursday, January 15, 2009

Strange Things and Weirdos X

After a long hiatus from the Strange Things and Weirdos installments, we are back. This, of course, is precipitated from a trip to Berkeley.

Walking up to campus from where I parked today, I see two guys, both kind of dirty, smelly hippie types, who, if you took a picture of them, appeared to be wrestling. But this was not a picture. This was two guys in dirty flannel in a weird Greco-Roman wrestling pose, complete with wide stance, low center of gravity and arms locked, standing completely motionless. I watched them for a good 45 seconds. No sound, no heavy breathing, no obvious signs of strain, only standing there. Could this be a new type of street art? Were they two homeless bums totally lost in their own drug-induced world? Were they simply two crazies fighting Darth Vader? Or was it perhaps the bizarre experiment of two physics undergrads? We shall never know.

On my way back, I saw some more of this 'street performance art', if you will. Totally deserted, down by the high school, two goths were standing on the sidewalk, facing parallel to the road (like 90° to where they would be if waiting for a bus), cigarette in the right hand, book held open in the left, perfectly still, silent, and weird. Both wore black berets and tan or grey wool trenchcoats. Neither was puffing on the cigarette, nor exhaling smoke. What's weird was that they weren't standing in a particularly well-lit area, so I'm not sure they were reading, and they were not standing at a bus stop. So what were they there for? An homage to the Greco-Roman statues earlier today? Again, sadly, we shall never know.

The last item to add to this list isn't all that strange or weird in Berkeley, but it is in the rest of the country. While down at the local Ben & Jerry's getting ice cream, a homeless man came in with no shoes, khakis, a flannel shirt and bicycle gloves, and asked us for money for an ice cream. He had crushed up crackers in his mouth and only a few teeth. He started bothering everyone, and the clerk asked him to leave. He didn't, and then she told him to leave. Repeatedly. But she got no respect from his old worthless ass. So, because I'm from the midwest, we don't put up with this shit back home, and the poor girl working the Ben & Jerry's looked like she needed some help, I stood up and threw his dumb ass out of the store. Fortunately, I didn't have to actually *touch* him, as I was reluctantly prepared to do, but I did get up in his face and tell him in no uncertain terms to get out. After asking me if I was going to kick his ass, he left. I think I would have kicked the shit out of him had I been in another state, but this fucking state would probably send me in with Dave if I were to even touch his sorry, nasty ass.

Which brings me to my last, and off-topic point: Dave is now in his permament home for the next couple years in Leavenworth Kansas, at a Federal work camp. If you want his address, drop me an e-mail.

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